5 Things Lily Evans Wanted To Say
by WinterPolaris
Summary: But Never Has Because She Was A Sensible Girl


**Five Things Lily Evans Wanted To Say (But Never Has Because She Was A Sensible Girl)**

**Disclaimer**: All characters (except for briefly-mentioned original characters) belong to JK Rowling.

**I. "****You're wrong, Tuney."**

One day, when Lily Evans was six, Petunia Evans took away her sister's favourite dolly. Lily wouldn't have minded so much (sharing is caring, mummy said), if Daisy's jumper weren't dirty when she found her way back to Lily's room. And Lily just knew, oh, she _knew_, that this was all Tuney's doing. Tuney has always been envious of Daisy, and it's not so surprising that she decided to give Daisy a bath in mummy's flowerbed.

Lily made her way to the playground, upset and angry and sworn to avenge her dolly. She prepared an entire spiel and perfected it in her mind so that when she arrived, she could embarrass her sister in front of her mates. What she didn't expect was to have a water balloon appearing out of nowhere, causing her sister to be soaked through and through.

She explained to mummy and daddy that it was magic, truly!

"There's no such thing as magic!" Tuney said.

Lily held her tongue. She was a sensible girl, and she didn't want her ice cream taken away from her for accusing her sister, even if Tuney was in the wrong.

**II.** "**You're just a bunch of muggles!" **

The summer after her first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was the hardest. She was separated from her new friends, abandoned by her old friends, and could hardly keep her the real reason for her disappearance a secret. It was terrible enough that she couldn't practise for her favourite class, Professor McGonagall's Transfigurations, now she couldn't even share her chocolate frogs and every-flavoured beans.

She decided to keep a journal, writing down everything that has happened to her in The Other Place. Except, it wouldn't be a journal, but more like a story. She would change her name, and her friends' names, and the school's name, and everything. If she passed it off as fiction, no one would know, right?

Once she had finished the first chapter chronicling Leslie Stevens's enchanted journey on a magical train (which has to be boarded from an unseen platform, of course!), she decided to show some of her old playground mates.

Christopher Bennett said it was stupid, there were no such things as a magical barrier in King's Cross. Betty Jones said it was rubbish, how could photos on trading cards move? Reginald Adams said she should stop daydreaming.

Lily laughed it off. She was a sensible girl, and there was no need to argue and involve everyone's parents. She decided to go down to Spinner's End and show Severus instead. He'd understand.

**III. **"**No."**

A year after she has graduated from Hogwarts, she found herself in someone's garden. She wasn't sure how she got there, exactly, or what she was doing there.

She looked around and saw herself surrounded by lilies. Nothing but lilies as far as the eye could see.

Breathing in the scent, she blinked several times before realising someone else was there. There was a boy, a young man, with a head full of jet-black hair that looked as if it hadn't been brushed for weeks. He was kneeling in front of her on one knee. Sunlight reflecting off that stone on that ring in his hand almost blinded her for life.

"Marry me."

Lily slowly nodded. She was a sensible girl, and she knew the babe growing inside her needed a father. She wished the real one were on one knee instead of being worlds away.

**IV. **"**He's not yours."**

As the months passed and her belly grew by the day, she became weary. Everyone would know soon. The truth couldn't be hidden any longer.

She ventured to a library near Godric's Hollow. There, she found what she was looking for. She's heard stories and rumours and myths, but she never knew it actually existed. Until now.

Permanent transfiguration.

She felt ashamed of being a Gryffindor. Everyone thought she was brave, but she knew all along that she was not without fear. After all, who truly was? She could not bring herself to tell anyone the truth. Nothing could be done even if she did, and it would just make matters far worse than they already were. He would have to forgive her. All the he's she could think of: her husband, her future son, her secret. She would make it up to them one day, even if she had to give her life away.

Lily bit her lip nervously, pointing her wand at her womb as she murmured the incantation. She was a sensible girl, even if she didn't seem like one at the moment. Everyone would understand one day.

**V. **"**I love you."**

It was too late now. She wanted to tell him ever since day one, when he made fun of Tuney on the playground. She wanted to tell him when they were in the cabin during their first journey on the Hogwarts Express. She wanted to tell him when she knew he waited for her outside the Gryffindor Tower that night. She wanted to tell him every single day, and now it was too late.

Lily turned to her son. She was a sensible girl, and she could only hope he would understand as she turned around –

"Avada Kedavra!"

She said it, hoping he would hear. Sensibility has no place in death.


End file.
